Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
