I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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