You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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