you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
