I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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