Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
