Dual....:-)
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
