He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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