Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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