I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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