Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
