You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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