scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
