Where is the hickey?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
