How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
