Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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