He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
