hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I lost the right to judge tonight
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
