she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize