Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize