ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
