See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
