What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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