im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
