i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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