Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hippo gnu deer
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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