biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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