am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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