with your own penis?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
