she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
