she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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