In the future we'll all be gay
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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