what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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