Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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