"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
