I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We are two peas in an std pod
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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