she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want nice things and good sex
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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