so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
