Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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