ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
