i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
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I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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