Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
