I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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