i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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