I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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