I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
