i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
