Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
