Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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