apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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