Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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