I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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