Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
