No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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