You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
