need another drink. this is the easiest way
i think i have two assholes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
