I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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