Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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