put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
