If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
