god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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