I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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